In Cuddy's Office
by anna-garny
Summary: House has lured Wilson into Cuddy's office for a little afternoon delight. Slash. Oneshot.


**In Cuddy's Office**

'You paged me?' Dr Wilson stuck his head through the gap between Dr Cuddy's doors, expecting to see a curvaceous brunette, but encountering a pair of shocking blue eyes and a mop of untidy, somewhat-thinning hair instead.

'What the hell are you doing?' James hissed, stepping into the office and pulling the door closed behind him.

Greg House had returned his attention to Dr Cuddy's desk, armed with a steel emery board and a slim Allen key- attempting to jimmy a lock on the top drawer.

'I need a third hand.'

'What are you doing?'

'Looking for Narnia. Get over here and help me.'

James crossed the office and ducked down next to the taller man, moving the cane away from the drawer and leaning in to look at what House was doing.

House leaned forward and seemed to slip, and before James knew what had happened the two of them were sprawled on the floor behind the Dean of Medicine's desk, Greg on top of him.

'House-' Dr Wilson was cut off by a pair of soft lips pressing to his own, a whiskered chin rubbing against his clean-shaven skin, and a sneaky, long-fingered hand running down the side of his torso and untucking part of his shirt.

For a few frenzied minutes the younger doctor allowed his greying boyfriend to have his fun, his higher functions dulled by the sensations Dr House was evoking with his lips and hands- until his instinct for self-preservation kicked in and he realised that making out in their boss' office was a very *bad* position to be in.

He dragged his mouth away from House's, which didn't make too much difference, really, as the diagnostician just turned his attention to the soft spot on James' neck that made him squirm as he tried to speak.

'House... House!'

'Shut up and let me do my thing, Jimmy.'

'This is Cuddy's office... we can't do this here...'

'And yet, you are still pinned down there. You could have overpowered me the minute I fell on you. You're enjoying this.'

'How can you be coherent when you're doing- ah!' A sharp nip to his neck made James stop mid-sentence, allowing House a few extra seconds to continue in his attempts to disconnect James' brain from his body.

'If you'd shut up and let me do what I do best, then we won't be caught. She's in a meeting with the Board until eleven. We've got twenty minutes.'

James let his head fall back onto the carpet and resigned himself to the fact that Greg was inescapable, knowing that if he did push the man away and try to get out of the room, but would probably be sent sprawling by a cane-shaped object hooking his ankle.

A buzzing sound came from the carpet under Cuddy's desk- Wilson's cell phone had fallen out of his the carpet.

Wilson sighed and reached out a hand to pick up the phone, but before he could reach, House had reached out and flicked it with his thumb so that it was out of reach, halfway across the office, continuing to ring.

'House, I have to get that, it could be a patient.'

'It's not- it's Chase. I saw the caller ID...' House drifted off, his eyes narrowing as he looked at the phone.

'Why is Chase calling you and not me?'

'Because you never answer your phone, and you're always with me.' James put in, wriggling slightly as House's weight shifted and a knee fell between Wilson's legs.

'You know what, I'm feeling so benevolent that I'm going to pretend that I believe that for the next five minutes.'

'Benevolent? You?'

'Just don't go telling everyone.'

House returned his attention to unbuckling Wilson's belt, sliding a hand between the khaki material and the soft white cotton covering the top of James' thighs.

'Why do you still wear these? I bought you black boxers.'

'I can't wear black underpants with khakis.'

'It's lucky I'm so butch, if I was as fashion-conscious as you then everyone would _know_ we're gay, rather than just suspecting it.'

'Come on, half the hospital knows we're an item.'

'No, half the hospital _suspects_ we're an item.'

'And if Cuddy walks in here and finds you with a hand down my pants, that'll just disprove the theory.'

'I'll just tell her that you drugged me and dragged me down here.'

Wilson pulled his head back, attempting to look down his nose at House, whose hand was being extremely sneaky.

'Who, of the two of us, is she likely to believe has drugged the other?'

House paused in his ministrations, cocking his head to one side and biting his lip, pretending to consider Wilson's point of view for a few seconds before running one long finger up the entire length of James' erection, pressing his own against his boyfriends' thigh in the same movement and eliciting a rather unbecoming moan from the oncologist as he did so.

'House... don't do that!'

'You said exactly the opposite when I did it to you this morning!'

'I don't ca-a-a-' House cut him off mid-sentence, wrapping his entire hand around Wilson's shaft and giving it a deft tug, making Wilson's eyes roll back and his mouth fall open again.

James took a deep breath and tried to compose himself while House continued to stroke and tug and turn his brain to mush, and after a few seconds he had regained control of his higher functions.

'I don't care what I said this morning, we are at work, House.'

'Two more minutes and we can go back to work.'

'You think you're that good?'

'I _know_ I'm that good.'

Wilson's phone began to ring again, buzzing across the carpet and being steadfastly ignored by the man who owned it, who was instead concentrating on biting his lip hard enough to stop himself crying out and not biting it so hard as to leave a mark that somebody, namely the woman whose office they were in, could possibly notice.

House moved quickly, realising that even though Wilson could ignore two phone calls, his pathology for pleasing people meant that a third call would be enough to send James scrambling across the floor, pants or no pants, to answer the call. He continued to jerk his boyfriend off, a cynical half-smile on his face as Wilson tried to keep quiet as he got closer to the edge.

Less than ninety seconds later House felt a wetness against his palm spreading from the head of Wilson's still hard length, soaking into the thin-stretched cotton as James' body relaxed with a deep exhale.

'You really are a genius, House.'

'Uh huh. And now you owe me either two hundred bucks, or sex in the shower before work tomorrow.'

'I'll get my checkbook. Get back to your team before they realise that you're not hiding out in the clinic.'

'Trust me, they know I'm not in the clinic.'

Wilson's phone began to buzz again and he stretched lazily, grabbing the handset and pressing it to his ear.

'Wilson.'

'Tell House that my meeting ended early. Oh, and I want both of you to have your pants on by the time I get back to my office.'

Cuddy hung up on the head of her Oncology department, smiling to herself, and Wilson stared at the phone in disbelief, flicking his eyes up to meet House's bright, narrowed eyes.

'What did she say?'

'To make sure we're both wearing pants by the time she gets back.'

'Crap.'

'Crap doesn't start to cover it. You owe me a month's worth of laundry.'


End file.
